I have a soft spot for people who struggle with their cultural identity. Many people feel like they don’t belong, and often they don’t realise that this deep feeling is linked to their cultural roots.

This is especially true for people whose parents come from different cultures, or who live far from their passport country.

Children who grow up looking very different from those around them often feel this even more deeply, and sadly, they are sometimes bullied for it too.

When people struggle to embrace their cultural identity, they may:

• Fully accept one side of who they are, and reject the other side completely.
• Reject all of who they are, and try to become someone else.
• Or feel lost in general — always feeling like they don’t belong anywhere.

How people respond depends on age, season of life, and whether they’ve faced this struggle head-on or kept running from it.

My own story is very different. I grew up as an Afrikaner in South Africa during the apartheid years. It was a very mono-cultural world — a bit like parts of Japan today. But even then, I often felt like I didn’t fully belong.

After high school, apartheid ended. Suddenly, my world changed — I was surrounded by people from many cultures. Over time, I started to feel ashamed of being an Afrikaner because of what my people had done under apartheid. When my English got better, I even tried to hide who I was.

Through my work in ministry, I had to face who I really was and ask God how He sees my people. I started to study my people’s story — our history, our pain, and the gifts God has given us to bless others.

This journey opened my eyes to the deep struggles many people face when it comes to embracing their cultural identity.

In South Africa, I worked in communities with people whose bloodlines carry stories from Europe, Africa, Asia, and the islands, mixed through histories of colonisation, slavery, and migration. Many don’t fit into neat boxes — and that brings deep pain but also beautiful gifts.

If you struggle to embrace part of your own cultural identity, I want to gently challenge you today: Give yourself permission to explore. Take time to learn your roots. Look for the unique gifts that come from the mix inside you.

A simple start: begin with what you love. If you enjoy cooking, why not learn to cook dishes from that side of your heritage? Start with your interests and explore from there.

This is one of the themes I love to share about. For some people, it’s not an issue at all — but for others, it’s a hidden struggle that affects so much of life.

I plan to offer a full course on this soon. But in the meantime, you’re welcome to explore my growing lessons on Cafetalk.

Let’s discover and celebrate who we are — fully.

P.S. Did this resonate with you? Feel free to reply and share what’s on your heart — I’m here to listen.

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